We seem to find ourselves quoting the movie from time to time...I don't know when the movie came out, but I've feel like I've been watching it FOREVERRRR FOREVERRRR (see how I snuck that in there)....
I really focused on one scene today, it's where the mom encourages her son to ask her step father to teach him the play fetch. She was like "well go in there and ask him" que awkward scene where boy stutters, and shyly asks. Every time I watch this scene I think to myself "why doesn't the mom just tell the dad to do it...why doesn't she pull him to the side and say 'hey, in a few minutes go ask your stepson to play catch, make him feel special like you WANT to do it" then I realized....that's the problem....what I'm thinking should happen is the problem...
I feel as a parent I am guilty of wanting things done for my daughter. Buying things for her because I know she'd like it, not because she's asked me for it. I find myself asking my husband to sign her up for things like dance because she likes dancing, but have I ever asked her if she wanted to have or do these things? Letting family know what to get her for her birthday when they ask me, instead of telling them to talk to her and figure out her likes and dislikes. Now that she's a big talker, I want her to use her verbal skills to communicate with others, in a polite and respectful way.
Is that an issue these days, where we provide things for our children without them asking or letting us know why they want or need something? Do I see the correlation around me, where people are afraid to ask for things, like a raise, and just wait until someone tells you you did a good job, and when that doesn't happen, you get angry and quit. Wanting something from someone should be a two way street. What do you want? Why do you want it? What does it mean to you? Is it an appropriate time for you to have what you want?
Im going to do better with how I treat My daughter, and ask her what she wants. Instead of providing her things and her just expecting good things to happen. Will she always hear yes? Heck no! She SHOULD hear no, and be okay with that. It should be an open conversation, she explains why she needs something, I explain why she can't have it right now, and if its something she can work towards, explain to her how she can achieve it.
This parenting thing is exhausting, and I know I'll never get it right, but ill try my hardest to do it in a way that works best for my family, and gives my children the opportunity to grow up to be respectful to others and themselves, that's my #1 goal.
Thanks Sandlot!
(Photo courtesy of www.imb.com)
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